Survivors and Victims
Validate the Experience
Validating the experience of intimate partner abuse can be challenging, as it is not always easy to recognize the warning signs or understand what is happening. Experts have identified several red flags that could indicate abusive behavior, including partners who put you down, dominate conversations, check up on you excessively, or isolate you from others. Additionally, individuals may experience physical or emotional symptoms, such as being apologetic for their partner's behavior or feeling nervous around them. It's important to recognize these warning signs, especially if you or someone you know is at a higher risk of domestic violence. Seeking support from professionals, such as local shelters, can help individuals develop safety plans and take the necessary steps to protect themselves and their children, including contacting the police or getting a restraining order. It's crucial to prioritize safety when leaving an abusive partner, and survivors should take steps to protect themselves even after they have left the relationship.
Warning Signs of intimate partner abuse
You may feel uncomfortable about some of the dynamics in your relationship, but you may not be certain if this is normal behaviour. Experts have identified warning signs that someone is acting abusively. Other warning signs relate to how you might be feeling or acting. If you recognize some of these warning signs, it may be time to reach out for support.
Does your partner
- Put you down often?
- Do all the talking for you and dominate the conversation?
- Check up on you all the time, even at work?
- Claim that they themselves are the victim, despite treating you disrespectfully?
- Isolate you from other people and try to keep you away from friends and family?
- Act like you are their property?
- Lie to make themselves look good or exaggerate their good qualities?
- Act like they are superior and of more value than others in the home?
Do you find yourself
- Being apologetic and making excuses for your partner’s behaviour or becoming defensive when others talk about your partner’s behaviour?
- Being nervous talking when your partner is around?
- Being sick more often and missing work?
- Trying to cover up bruises or physical injuries?
- Making excuses at the last minute about why you can’t meet family members or friends?
- Feeling sad, lonely, withdrawn, and afraid?
Signs of high risk
Again, experts have identified conditions and situations that indicate a situation is becoming more dangerous. Research indicates that women who are under 25 years of age, women with a disability, Indigenous women, women living common-law and trans people are at higher risk of domestic violence.
If you are experiencing abuse and you recognize some of these signs of high risk, we encourage you to reach out for support.
Does your partner
Here are some ways you can help a victim/survivor when you recognize the warning signs of domestic violence:
- Have access to your children
- Have access to weapons
- Have a history of abuse with you or others
- Threaten to harm or kill you if you leave and says things like “If I can’t have you, no one will”
- Threaten to harm your children or your pets or to destroy you property
- Threatened to kill themself
- Choke you
- Hit you in the head or do anything else that could lead to serious injury or death
- Experience major life changes (e.g. job, separation, depression)
- Think that you are seeing someone else
- Watch your actions, listen to your telephone conversations, read your emails, and/or follow you
- Have trouble keeping a job
- Take drugs or drink every day
- Have no respect for the law
If you are experiencing abuse and any of these signs of high risk are also happening, we encourage you to seek help immediately.
Are you
Here are some ways you can help a victim/survivor when you recognize the warning signs of domestic violence:
- Planning to leave or have you just separated?
- Afraid for your life and/or for your children’s safety
- Denying that you are at risk, even though some of these risk factors apply to you
- In a custody battle, or do you have children from a previous relationship
- Involved in another relationship
- Without access to a phone
- Someone who faces other obstacles (e.g. do not speak English, are not yet a legal resident of Canada, live in a remote area)
- Without connections to friends or family
If you are experiencing abuse and any of these signs of high risk are also happening, we encourage you to seek help immediately.
